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Popcorn Doesn't Lie 

Chapter Thirteen

An hour later Jack phoned in saying the surveillance was in place. Daniel and Annika left a short time later, the gym bags slung over their shoulders concealing handguns and tac vests.

Janet spent the last official hour of her shift following Ferretti’s suggestion, conducting the unneeded health check on her daughter. The doctor was glad of the busy-work, it distracted her from the stampeding elephants in her stomach.

They did hit one flaw with their plan. Ferretti was right, they had to follow through with the tests, otherwise it would be out of character for Janet to leave and not stay in her assigned quarters with her daughter. However, with the medical check complete there was no longer a legitimate excuse for Cassie not to return home with Janet. Dodger came to the rescue, announcing in earshot of the nurses that he and the rest of SG-2 were planning a sci-fi movie marathon in the officer’s lounge, and invited the young woman to join them in picking apart how wrong Hollywood got it. The ‘excuse’ was actually true. It was something the team did often when they had downtime the following day. Usually it was held at Ferretti’s apartment, but since Dodger was under medical supervision and confined to base, they had shifted ‘headquarters’.

General Hammond just happened to need clarification on a med report as the end of Janet’s shift drew near. In the privacy of her office, he outfitted her with the earpiece, verifying that it wasn’t noticeable in her ear canal and ran a sound check. "I’ll be monitoring from my office with Jacob."

She nodded taking a steadying breath.

"Good luck and Godspeed." He gave his traditional send off. Untraditionally he laid a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Be careful, Janet. We need you here."

"I will, sir." Another deep breath and she went to say goodnight to Cassie. With SG-1 chattering quietly in her ear, (they had kept the line open, reaffirming that they were with her every step of the way,) she exited the base and began what would be the longest night of her life.

Driving to her home, she tried to concentrate on the road ahead. The last thing she needed was to have an accident. Back on the base the plan had sounded simple. Now as the miles clicked over, she was being plagued by doubts. What if she couldn’t pull it off? How could she remain passive while Ba’al interrogated her, when all she wanted to do was wring the Goa’uld’s neck? What if he touched her? Would she be able to remain still and not cringe away?

She pulled over to the side of the road and flipped open her cell phone. She hit the speed dial and she could hear the echo of the ring tone from the tiny device in her ear.

Sam picked up after the second ring, her voice concerned. "Janet? What’s wrong?"

"Don’t tell me you’ve got a flat tire, Doc," Jack wisecracked quietly, though his tone was equally worried.

"I’m fine. I just…I…want to ask Annika a favor."

In the back of the surveillance truck SG-1 raised eyebrows.

Annika, sensing Janet would like to make the request face to face rather than by phone, concentrated on splitting her astral self.

"Casper will be with you in a blink."

Even before the colonel had finished, the image of the psychic shimmered into sight on Janet’s passenger seat. Annika immediately noticed that the doctor’s knuckles were white against the steering wheel from gripping it so tightly. "I’m at your service." She gave small half bow.

Janet disconnected the call to Sam, her eyes troubled. "The idea of being in the same room as Ba’al makes me shudder…with anger, fear, hatred and a bundle of other nameless emotions, and I’m worried I won’t be able to stop that from showing. One flinch and the game is up…"

"How can I help?" Her violet eyes were confused.

"Can you use your telekinesis on me?"

"My telekinesis?"

She nodded. "You make things move, but you also stop things from moving."

"Janet, I’ve never done anything so…subtle…before." The psychic was dubious. "Normally I’m pegging things around the room and they go splat."

"But your control is growing everyday. Please," she pleaded. "I don’t think I can do this by myself."

"Okay, I’ll give it go," Annika was already running through the different techniques Lya had taught her in her mind to determine what would be the best approach. "We can practice while we’re waiting for Ba’al to show up."

Janet’s death grip on the wheel lightened up a bit. "Thanks."

"Anytime." She smiled then blinked away.

This time when Janet pulled out onto the road those elephants in her stomach had slowed to a plod.

 

A  A  A  A  A  A

 

Parking in her driveway Janet gave only a cursory glance at the van parked across the street. Just seeing it and knowing who was in the cramped interior gave her comfort and confidence that things would work out.

"Doc, we set up the cameras in all the rooms Ba’al bugged, the visual is nice and clear."

"Which rooms?" Janet asked quietly. She didn’t try to contain the shiver that ripped through her at the knowledge the Goa’uld had been in her home.

"Janet, you’ll have to speak up a bit." Sam adjusted the volume controls on the tiny microphones hidden in the house.

She repeated her question in her normal tone of voice.

"That’s perfect," the major replied, then listed the rooms. "He didn’t bug the study or bathroom."

"Thank God for small mercies," she sighed. It was a relief to know that she and Cassie hadn’t been giving Ba’al a free peep show when they had showered. "So what do I do now?"

"Whatever it is you normally do when you’re not at work. I figure we’ve got a few hours yet before Ba’al makes his entrance." Jack made himself comfortable for the long haul. In his experience stakeouts were long and tedious and the bad guy was never thoughtful enough to arrive promptly. "Casper, if you want to practice your voodoo now’s the time."

The psychic nodded. When she had remerged with her body she had moved from her corner of the van so that she was positioned in front of one of the monitors. She now concentrated on the digital image of her friend in the kitchen opening a bottle of red wine. Lya was able to do this trick without having to actually see the ‘object’ being manipulated. However Annika was a long way off from being able to do that despite the Nox’s careful tutelage. The one time she had done it she had been comatose and had no recollection of how she did it.

Janet felt a soft tingle encase her body like a blanket. Annika’s soft voice speaking in her ear, getting her to move, or try to move as the case may be, had a calming effect on the anxious woman. After a half hour of practice, both Annika and Janet were confident that there would be no sudden reflexive reactions when Ba’al arrived.

The doctor did her best to act like she wasn’t being watched. Though she was grateful that SG-1 were there, it was nevertheless disconcerting to know that her every move was being monitored. "I feel like I’m in a warped version of Big Brother," she grumbled, throwing down the book she had been trying to read.

"I hate to say it, but you may have to get used to it for a while," Sam reluctantly spoke. "It might be days before Ba’al pays a visit."

"I do not want to hear that," Janet grimaced taking a gulp of wine. She got to her feet and disappeared from the monitors as she went into her study. A few moments later she emerged with a stack of manila folders. "May as well make myself useful. I don’t usually go to bed for a few hours yet." She settled on the couch and began reviewing the reports. Anything of a classified nature she wouldn’t take off base, but these were the psych evaluations and general medical checks of potential recruits for the SGC. She heard a disgruntled sigh in her ear. "Something wrong, Colonel?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact," he groused "Am I the only one who understands that when you finish a shift of work you leave the work behind?"

The other members of SG-1 blinked at him.

"Is that what we’re suppose to do?" Sam asked, her sapphire eyes innocently wide.

"Seems like a foreign concept to me," Daniel rested his chin on Annika’s shoulder, who was perched on his lap to make more room in the confined space.

"As First Prime I was constantly at the service of Apophis, day or night," Teal’c added his own experience.

"I’ve only ever worked from home, so it was always there," Annika snuggled into the embrace of her husband. "You ever heard of it, Janet?"

"Nope. Must be something they teach in Colonel School."

Jack raised his eyes heavenwards as though praying for strength. "As the highest ranking officer I am ordering you all to get a life. An order I distinctly remember giving before."

"We tried that, Jack," Daniel sounded sincere. "But it didn’t take."

"Oy, I give up." The colonel gave a resigned shake of his head. "Doc, can you at least flick on your TV and pretend that you’re watching it?"

"Of course, Colonel." Janet reached for the remote. "Which channel would you like me to watch?"

"Fox?" he asked hopefully, ignoring the eye rolls from the members of his team.

With a chuckle the doctor flicked the channel and to Jack’s delight a new episode of ‘The Simpsons’ was just starting.

"Thanks, Doc."

They all settled down and began the waiting game. While Jack and Sam monitored the cameras, Teal’c and Daniel continued on with their study of the transcripts. Annika quietly chatted with Janet, doing an admirable job of keeping the doctor from becoming a total bundle of nerves.

They were three hours in when Daniel gave an exclamation of bewilderment.

"What?" Jack stretched his arms above his head to stop his back and neck muscles from stiffening up.

"Ba’al has got in depth records on each of us."

"Is that really so surprising?" Sam rolled her head back to relieve the crick in her neck. She flashed Jack a grateful smile when his hands gently began kneading the knot of tension across her spine.

"Of our history with the SGC perhaps not, but what possible reason could he have for wanting to know which primary schools I attended, Jack’s first station after boot camp, which university Sam went to, Annika’s grades in high school and Teal’c’s marriage date to Drey’auc."

"Such knowledge would be irrelevant," Teal’c frowned, scrolling down the script on his data pad until he reached the interview Daniel was speaking of.

"Perhaps he was creating a psychological profile," Janet suggested.

"But he wouldn’t need to know the names of the specific schools or places for that," Daniel pointed out. "For a Goa’uld who knows little of Earth’s everyday culture, Saint Paul’s Elementary or Afghanistan are just words. An A in art and a C in science…there’s no context for him to apply it to." He scrolled up to the part that focused on himself. "He knows my entire life history. Where I was born, which digs my parents took me on, when they died, every foster family I stayed with." He passed over the tablet to Sam for her to see her segment. "It’s the same for all of us, except for Teal’c. His is a bit sketchy."

"I suppose that’s because I couldn’t research that." Janet fought down the rush of guilt at having revealed such personnel information to the enemy.

Jack wasn’t at all happy that Ba’al knew such intimate details of his life, yet what annoyed him more was that he couldn’t fathom the reason why Ba’al would want it in the first place. "My gut’s telling me that it’s more than just a case of know thy enemy but I’ve got nuthin’."

Everyone else was as equally at a loss.

"Well on that perplexing note, it’s about now that I usually go to bed." Janet turned off the TV, gathered up the files she’d been working on and returned them to the study, closing the door to the room after she did so. When she walked into her bedroom and picked up her nightdress she hesitated, hating the idea of the Goa’uld beaming into her room and of herself being in such a state of undress.

The team observing her exchanged glances, understood her reluctance to ‘invite’ Ba’al into the private room.

"Janet, if we have to bust in, the closer you are to the front door the better." Sam gave her friend a legitimate excuse.

The doctor gave a grateful smile and stashed her nightie under her pillow. "So no objections if I pretend to fall asleep on the couch?" She dug out sweat pants and a t-shirt from her drawer.

"Nope."

"Oh, good." Janet disappeared into the bathroom and a few minutes later emerged changed in the floppy clothes. She grabbed a blanket from the hall cupboard on the way back out, and then laid down on the sofa, tucking the blanket around herself. Resting her head on one of the throw cushions against the armrest, she picked up the book she had discarded earlier and rested it on her stomach, her hand loosely holding it open at a random page. "How do I look?"

"A helluva lot more comfortable than we are at the moment," Jack quipped, glancing around at his team dressed in full tactical gear, crammed into the small confines of the van.

"Speak for yourself," Daniel grinned, wrapping his arms around his wife still sitting across his thighs.

"Try to get some sleep, Doc," Jack suggested. "We’ll let you know the second Ba’al is watching." Apart from the cameras and microphones, they had planted tiny sensors that registered energy spikes. The moment Ba’al activated his cameras they would know about it.

"I know you will, but I don’t think that I can." Janet closed her eyes and controlled her breathing to give the illusion of slumber.

SG-1 broke the night up into a series of two hour shifts, taking turns to catch a couple of hours sleep and watching the monitors for any sign of Ba’al.

Daniel was just about to nudge Jack awake after the second rotation when there was a series of beeps alerting them to a sudden increase of energy within Janet’s house.

Instantly the five of them were wide awake. Annika immediately focused her will around Janet, for despite the doctor’s doubts, she had nodded off during the second hour of her ‘false’ sleep, and they didn’t want her to reflexively move when they woke her.

"Doc, heads up, Balls is watching."

The psychic could feel the anxiety shoot through Janet’s body and she did her best to siphon off the emotion to keep her calm.

It was a tense five minutes as the team waited for Ba’al to beam in. Weapons were slid from holsters and the seats pushed back against the van wall clearing the way should they need to go in.

Janet didn’t need Jack’s low voice telling her when Ba’al transported into her house, she saw the bright light through her closed eyelids, felt the presence a second person.

"Okay, Doc, he’s standing directly on your right…fiddling with a ring…"

They saw the tiny needle pop up and his beady eyes scanned the doctor’s body.

"…He’s getting ready to prick you with the enzyme, reaching out to the right of your neck…"

Janet’s ears picked up the rustle of the Goa’uld’s robes as he moved, bending towards her, the warm smell of his breath against her face. Jeez, does he have to get so close? Invading my personal space as well as my home? She was eternally grateful that Annika was holding her steady, her first instinct was to head butt the bastard. She barely felt the graze of the needle on her skin and absently noted that the Goa’uld had a deft touch that would have been the envy of nurses and patients alike. She knew she was imagining it, but she could have sworn she could feel the minute trace of the enzyme filter through her blood.

"Awaken, my pet."

In her ear Sam spoke up. "Keep your eyes straight ahead, focus on one point and try not to shift it."

"Opening your eye’s," Annika warned a second before she gently manipulated the woman’s lids open.

From the side of her vision Janet saw Ba’al had sat down on the coffee table. Smug bastard, she thought. He was resting his forearms on his knees, totally relaxed like he was sitting down for a chat, confident that he had all the time in the world with no worries of interruption.

"Remember to keep your answers short," Daniel reminded.

"What have you to report?" Ba’al asked with his usual opening.

"Do not respond," Teal’c butted in. "You have not answered that vague question in any of the transcripts."

Janet trusted that the Jaffa knew what he was talking and kept her mouth shut.

Unperturbed by her silence Ba’al began his interrogation in earnest. "Did SG-1 learn your identity?"

"No."

"You are certain how?"

"The responses in the transcript they recovered had no identifying personal inflections."

"Do they suspect you?"

"As much as they do half of the personnel who knew of the information on the tablet."

The team in the van for the most part were silent, having agreed earlier that unless Janet got stuck with a question that they wouldn’t butt in. She knew what disinformation was to be fed to Ba’al, and having them jabbering in her ear would only be a distraction.

"Did SG-1 have another agenda for their mission?"

"Yes."

"What was it?"

"To determine if the rumors were true."

"What rumors?"

"That the minor System Lords in your alliance are conspiring to double cross you."

"Why would you care if they were?"

"Discord in the ranks can only be to our advantage. While you squabble amongst yourselves you leave us alone."

"And what did they discover?"

"Three plots of your Pledged to overthrow or kill you."

"Three plots in the space of an hour?"

"Colonel O’Neill would point out there is a lot to be learned skulking in the access shafts."

Everyone held their breath. This was the test. Would Ba’al believe the lie to be true? They watched his eyes narrow on the blank face of his informant, rubbing his chin with his thumb and forefinger in contemplation. Eventually he spoke.

"Which Goa’uld are plotting against me?"

A collective sigh blew from five mouths.

"Unknown. They did not see faces, just heard voices."

"Was that all of their mission?"

Janet was about to say yes, but Annika’s urgent whisper in her ear told her to change her answer.

"No."

"What else was it they were to do?"

The psychic quickly rattled of the improvised mission agenda and Janet repeated it word for word.

"Seek out the weapon that you wanted the manual for and take it."

"And yet they left it behind. Was that because they had to abandon the theft to rescue their teammates?"

"Yes and no."

"Explain."

"Yes, they left the device. No, they did not leave a weapon behind."

"It’s not a weapon?"

"No."

"Yet you identified the hologram I showed you as the same as the one displayed in the manual."

"They are the same as water is to vodka."

"Clarify." Ba’al was not familiar with term ‘vodka’, though given the reference he assumed it was a Tau’ri drink.

Jack listened to the Doc’s unrehearsed responses, then content that she was spinning a ripper of a bluff, raised an eyebrow at Annika.

Still concentrating her will around the muscles of Janet’s face she blocked the microphone of her headpiece with her hand so as not to distract Janet and shrugged. "It’s been bugging the shit out of me why my gift was so insistent we have another reason to give Ba’al for being on his ship."

"It was a puzzlement," Teal’c admitted. He’d been wondering the same thing since having to leave the weapon behind.

"With any luck," Daniel murmured. "Ba’al will ditch the weapon base and we can just go and retrieve it."

The team leader nodded. "Here’s hoping."

They returned their full attention to the monitors to catch the rest of Janet’s improvisation.

"Water and vodka appear the same until one ingests it, then the differences become apparent."

"How could they be sure that the device is not a weapon without testing it?" There was a touch of suspicion in the Goa’uld’s voice.

"Annika identified it as such."

It was the perfect response. From the absent nod from Ba’al it was clear that he didn’t doubt the psychic’s abilities anymore than SG-1 did. "Were she or the others able to discern what it is?"

"The general consensus is it’s similar to a device we encountered previously that produces a narcotic type effect on the mind. Extremely addictive to human physiology."

"Great improv, Doc," Jack complimented.

"You are talking of an Akh’mu’cume?" Ba’al asked.

"The Goa’uld name of the device is not known to me."

Ba’al tapped his lips deciding which direction to now take in his questioning. "What size are Daniel Jackson’s feet?"

The archaeologist gave a start at the totally ludicrous query. "What the hell?"

Teal’c and Sam were just as bewildered, however Jack and Annika barely stopped themselves from howling with laughter.

The doctor, totally thrown by the bizarre question automatically answered with the truth. "Size ten."

"That terminology means nothing to me," Ba’al was frustrated by the Tau’ri measurement. "Demonstrate."

"Janet," Annika gasped out. "I’m gonna control your hands, just go with it!"

The doctor was glad to acquiesce to the psychic, still in the dark about this line of questioning. As Annika lifted her hands and moved them generously larger than what the shoe size really was, something clicked in her brain. This time her gratefulness to have Annika blocking her movements was in stopping her from breaking out into a Cheshire cat grin. The others had also caught on to what part of Daniel’s anatomy Ba’al was really inquiring about. In her ear she heard Sam chuckle. "Most impressive, Daniel."

She could imagine the modest archaeologist turning a bright shade of red at this point, especially when Annika quipped, "I know I’m being conservative, but Ba’al wouldn’t believe the real size."

Over the rest of the team’s snorts of laughter, Daniel groaned. "Please tell me we can delete this part of the recording."

Ba’al oblivious to the goings on in the van outside, studied the gap of his pet’s hand. "Is that average size for males on this planet?"

Janet took a moment to decide whether an aye or nay would bait the Goa’uld more, for now that she had delivered the disinformation, it was her only ‘job’ left to do. The quiet mischievous prompting from her comrades confirmed her line of thinking. "Yes."

She saw Ba’al frown then unconsciously glance down between his legs, knew that he was making a comparison. Janet bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from bursting out in laughter. That’s five points to us! Let the high and mighty ‘God’ think all the Tau’ri men are hung like stallions!

Ba’al, not happy with that ‘fact’ moved on to a more pleasurable topic, this one more to sate his obsessive curiosity than for anything else. "As the seer’s friend, she has confided in you?"

"Yes."

"Do you know what makes her moan with sexual pleasure?"

"Seems like you’ve got an admirer," Sam murmured.

"Eeew." The psychic gave a shudder, feeling the anger pulse through her husband.

"I’m going to kill him," Daniel growled.

Janet concentrated on answering the question. It would be easy enough to simply say no, but she wanted to mess with Ba’al’s head as much as possible. When she spoke she told the truth as she saw it. "One whispered word from Daniel is all it takes."

"What word?" The Goa’uld was hanging on the doctor’s reply.

"I don’t know." Janet loved that the Goa’uld had taken her statement literally as she had hoped. "That's why they call it a whisper. It’s for Annika’s ears only."

To SG-1’s amusement they saw the calculating gleam in Ba’al’s eyes as he tried to figure out what word Janet was talking about. After a moment he continued on.

"I have heard that the Tau’ri resort to artificial enhancement of one’s bodies."

"Some do." Janet struggled to keep her voice neutral. Considering the ‘facts’ that had just given the Goa’uld an inferiority complex, she silently prayed that he wasn’t going to ask about penile enlargements. She seriously doubted she’d be able to get the answer out without laughing in his face.

"The seer’s breasts, are they naturally so voluptuous?"

Janet paused a fraction for word from Annika on how she wanted her to reply. "Yes."

"And are the soft curls between her thighs the same fiery red as her hair?"

Annika almost choked on that one, as Janet had no choice but to answer the intimate question.

The doctor heard the sound of a scuffle in her earpiece, guessed correctly that Daniel had instinctively jumped up ready to barge through the door to plant a fist in the Goa’uld’s face.

"Okay, time to end this little chat," Jack announced. "Before Danny has a coronary."

Sam nodded and hit the speed dial on her cell phone.

The phone in Janet’s living room began to ring, making the Goa’uld jump. Ba’al immediately slapped the controls on his hand device and a second later the white light of the beaming technology engulfed him and spirited him away.

When the light dissipated the doctor felt the soft tingle of Annika releasing her body from her net of telekinesis. She gave herself a little shake as though the sound of the phone had woken her, then reached for the receiver on the side table next to the couch. "Hello?"

"Janet, you’re required on base ASAP."

"I’m on my way." She hung up then continued on with the charade, striding down the hall to her bedroom to get her uniform. She was just reaching into her closet when Jack echoed in her ear.

"Balls' has switched off the cameras. Everyone stand down."

Janet slumped against the wall heaving a sigh of relief.

"You did great, Doc, had him eating out of the palm of your hand."

"It was touch and go there for a minute. Some of those questions were a tad unexpected."

"I’ll say."

Daniel’s grumble came not from her earpiece but from her front door as the primary team trooped into her home. Tac vests had been removed though they each wore a handgun on the slim chance Ba’al unexpectedly returned. Sam was on her cell phone reporting in to Hammond that the mission had been a success.

"And you say I leave things out of the mission reports!" he half accused Jack and Annika. "When precisely did Ba’al develop an obsession with my wife?"

"Um…" Annika raised a mischievous eyebrow at her partner in crime. "When I told him tweezers and a magnifying glass were needed to find his old fella?"

"When you called him tadpole?" Jack suggested.

Despite himself Daniel found his lips twitching. "Any other possibilities?"

"I can think of one or two," Annika nodded, wrapping her arms around his waist.

Sam flipped closed her cell, finishing the check in. "General Hammond’s leaving it up to us if we want to do the debrief now or after we get some rest."

The team left the choice to Janet who decided that she’d rather get the whole thing over and done with.

They left all the cameras set up, including Ba’al's, not wanting to alert the Goa’uld just yet that they were on to him. Janet quickly changed into her uniform and packed a couple of sets of civvies. Until they figured out a way to inform Ba’al that she was no longer his ‘pet’, neither herself nor Cassie would stay in the house. Jack and Teal’c drove the surveillance van, while Sam rode with Janet. Daniel and Annika brought up the rear in the jeep.

Pulling into his assigned parking space Daniel felt a happy tickle beneath his heart. He followed her gaze to see Jack, Sam, Teal’c and Janet quietly chatting at the first checkpoint, waiting for them to join them.

"It’s finally over."

"Yep. We just have to hope Ba’al takes the bait."

"That doesn’t matter now." She slipped her hand into his and they began walking. "What matters is that the veil of suspicion has been lifted."

Daniel realized that she hadn’t been staring at their friends, rather she’d been focused on the mountain itself. "The SGC has an aura?"

"Of sorts," she confirmed. "Certain places that are…important…light up like beacons, at least to me. Now we can all get back to doing what we do best."

"Giving the Goa’uld inferiority complexes?" he teased.

"It’s a tough job, but someone has to do it," she mock sighed.

"Come on, slow pokes." Jack tapped his watch. "If we’re lucky we can beat the early morning rush for breakfast."

"Jack, you really have to work on your pep talks," Daniel shook his head with a resigned eye roll. "Mess hall food is still not an incentive."

"Who said anything about the mess? I was thinking the IHOP, my treat." The colonel looped one arm around Sam and the other around Janet’s shoulder in a hug of friendship. "You and Cassie too, Doc."

"Now that’s an incentive," Janet grinned, as they all stepped into the elevator.

Descending into the belly of the mountain the last knot of anxiety lifted from their shoulders, the tight knit group looking forward to putting the last week behind them.


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